Yes finally I ran !!!!!!!!

I love running. There is no other way to put it. While writing this post I tried to put those three words in a shall we say slightly less prosaic way , but my feelings are best captured by those three words. And I probably wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for a friend of mine. She told me that if I love running so much why don't I just do it. We have a field in our college campus so if you come to think of it there is seriously not much effort required to be put in. I didn't do it the day she told me because somehow the idea seemed very so fantastic to me. I mean how can you just go and run. I slept over it and thought well why not. I could furnish you with a thousand and one excuses for not doing it . I mean how can one just run alone, the people around will think I am a lunatic and so on and so forth.
I think I should clarify here that when I mean run I mean sprinting , not jogging. I used to love doing it on sports day in school and then after a rather long break in the inter b school meet in our college last year.
Its a really great feeling. Leave aside the elation you feel when you break the tape (yes I have tasted success in my shall we say "athletic" career). When you are participating in a tournament and just before the final race is about to start the tension is palpalble. Its just the feeling that the next 3 seconds can decide who go goes home to the ticker tape parade ( I am putting it a bit grandly here) and who well has to settle for a second place or a third place or well any other standing for that matter. There might seem to be an inherent contradiction in what I am saying. Actually I am venturing into territory that I would not like to go now.
(Whoever says the life of a MBA student is easy!!!).
There's a lot more left to say......but thanks to my roomie and metallica you people are let off easy ;)

Two recent and rather diverse experiences have made me realize or rather convince me further that my idea and initial conscious effort to live life with "quality" (please refer "the Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance"-- it’s too huge and I do not consider myself capable to explain it properly) was a step in the right direction.
The first was the movie "Blow". Based on a true story of how a boy, played by Johnny Depp, from a relatively staid and financial mediocre background gets lured in to the thrills and riches on offer in the drugs trade. In spite of being apprehended by the law and having undergone the rigors of imprisonment his enthusiasm for his profession remains unabated. But it is the last job, one done so that he can be with his daughter---who meant the world to him---, where his luck runs out. His partners conspire against him and he is finally landed with a 60 year sentence of imprisonment. There is one scene where in his childhood he goes along with his dad when he files for bankruptcy. In response to his son's question that why things are going so wrong his dad replies that money is not everything. The advice goes unheeded and they show how in the last few scenes , the last 5 mins in my advice served to make the movie from "very good" to sublime , Johnny Depp's character writes a letter to his dad about his finally realizing the true meaning of the advice . Before I give a free reign to my thoughts I will recount the second experience.
Independence Day was celebrated in our college and the flag hoisting ceremony was scheduled for 7:20 am. We have two residence programs in our college. One being the PGP program (Post Gradate Program) where the participants are mainly freshers from college or software professionals with 1 or 2 years work experience. The other program is the NMP (National Management Program) where the participants are middle level managers from various PSU's and the average age could be pegged at around 32 for these people. Why I mention the age I will come to shortly. The turnout for this event from the PGP people was relatively thin as compared to the NMP participants.
Finally I have been able to describe to my satisfaction the two experiences .So where am I going with all this. Why do you think that all these middle aged men took pains to turn up at 7:20 in the morning while their younger counterparts preferred the comforts of their beds? When George Dung (the protagonist in "Blow”) writes about finally realizing that ‘money isn’t everything’ and that he has been chasing a lie for the better part of his life you realize that have they gone through their lives without thinking or pondering about why they were doing whatever it is that they were engaged in. And surely they must have suppressed the inner voice, not that of conscious, but that of their instinct troubling them. In the movie they show that at one time, in an effort to justify his profession to his father George Jung tells him “Dad I am really good at this”. Pat comes the reply “son you would have been good at anything that you took up”. So maybe whatever it is that, most of us are engaged in now (and I talk of those who have not discovered their “true calling” shall we say---- Sachin Tendulkar may have been born to play cricket but I most certainly was not born to become an engineer or an MBA and I’m sure most of my friends will have similar thoughts about their occupation) is not really because we are “really good” at it, as we would want others and most importantly ourselves to believe.
So what way is there to get out of the quandary. As in how can one really say that what he or she is doing is really is his/her “true calling”. I guess there is no real objective criterion that can be followed. But whatever we derive pleasure from doing and not from the consequences/rewards of carrying /not carrying out can be considered a step in the right direction.
It’s a good feeling, and I can say this for most people, to attend a flag hoisting ceremony. The feeling that accompanies the singing of the national anthem is hard to describe, but suffice to say that is indeed an enriching experience. When exactly will life offer us another chance to experience this is for any one to guess. But how many of my fellow PGP participants thought about this. Is this not the way most of us go through life, without giving it too much thought, without wanting to deviate from the status quo. And as we grow older, we tend to realize this which would be , in my opinion the reason for the increased attendance of the NMP batch. Why let go of opportunities to experience something rare that life throws at us. That too for a few extra hours of sleep, or for the pleasure of a booze session with friends the previous night.

How difficult is it to do something that you don't want to....or rather is it possible to evoke interest in something which till a few moments back you were contemplating with dread...well i certainly beleive it to be possible...because here I am writing something..when i have to give an assignment at 6 p.m today....
Often it gives me a lot of pleasure in doing things which are quite inconsequential....but as i was writing this blog..i was interrupted by a student from germany....and I just got a feelign ..that he or if I do generalize...ted to question things more....whereas out here..are we not too consumed into doing whatever is handed down to us...in a better way than our peers....which brings me to the question..is cut throat competition always a good thing..we are so proud of how competitive our entrance exams to IIT and IIM are...but doesn't this mad rush to compete to do better than others ...somehow weaken the questioning spirit within us....I ay this because even in such great institutes the scope of a student to choose what he wants to study is very limited....he just studies what he is told to...does not think why he is...maybe this is the reason that we see a few drop outs from these colleges...
while we are on this topic..another thing comes to mind.....out here are we not always to eager to succeed...and this success is measured by how fast we are able to complete our degrees and get into the coveted job.....any breaks that we take is frowned upon by society...have we ever heard of any student taking a year off...lets say between his engineering ..because it is just not meant for him..maybe he would like to find a more apt calling for himself....i've totally lost the thread..so will end here....